Why do women feel guilty for wanting more?
Because we were raised to believe that being good meant being selfless. That love had to be earned through sacrifice. That asking was selfish, and receiving was shameful.
This Scroll shines a light on the third lie in the patriarchy’s playbook: that a woman’s worth is tied to how much she gives - and how little she needs.
But the truth is this: You are not here to be a bottomless well of service. You are here to be nourished, seen, and sovereign.
The Selfless Woman: Always Giving, Never Receiving
We’ve all been conditioned to believe that being a “good woman” means being endlessly available:
- Always caring for others
- Always putting yourself last
- Always saying yes
This narrative shows up everywhere - in fairytales, religion, media, even family roles.
And when you do have needs? You feel guilt. Or you suppress them entirely. Because somewhere along the way, you learned:
“My needs make me a burden.”
But let’s be clear: That belief is not truth. It’s programming.
Why This Lie Exists
The patriarchy thrives when women are depleted.
Because a woman who never rests can’t rise. A woman who never receives can’t lead. A woman who never owns her desires will never rewrite the rules.
This myth wasn’t built to honour women. It was built to exhaust them.
And it worked.
Until now.
My Story: The Guilt of Wanting More
I used to shrink my desires to make others comfortable. I downplayed my dreams, ignored my exhaustion, and said yes when my whole body whispered no.
I wore overgiving like a badge of honour. If I could anticipate everyone else’s needs, maybe I’d finally feel worthy.
But I didn’t. I felt hollow. Resentful. Invisible.
The turning point came when a close friend asked me what I wanted. I started listing things like my kids’ happiness, my clients’ success, and making sure everyone else was okay. And she gently stopped me and asked again: “No - what do YOU want?”
The realisation hit me hard. I’d never actually thought about it. Sure, I had dreams - a beautiful house, a thriving business, a shiny car - but they always felt more like fantasies than something I truly believed I was allowed to want, especially as a single parent.
For the first time, I answered honestly. Not what I thought I should say. Not what would make others proud. But what I wanted - for me.
And when I started honouring my needs - even in tiny ways - something powerful shifted.
Boundaries were born. Energy returned. My voice got louder.
I began to believe in myself - and that I deserved to go after my dreams.
The Truth: Wanting Is Not Wrong
Let’s make it clear:
- Your needs are not selfish
- Your desires are not too much
- Your rest is not laziness
Receiving is not a betrayal of your feminine - it’s a return to it.
We can’t rise while starving. We can’t serve while empty.
You are not here to disappear into your roles. You’re here to expand into your wholeness.
Reclamation: Worthy of Care, Deserving of More
Here’s what to remember:
- You are allowed to want what you want.
- You are allowed to rest without guilt.
- You are allowed to receive without earning it.
Quote this: “My needs are sacred. My desires are divine.”
Activation: Ritual for Reclaiming Your Needs
Journal Prompt: Where have I been ignoring my own needs? What is one small thing I can give myself today?
Mini Ritual: Every morning this week, place your hand on your heart and say: “I honour what I need. I trust what I feel. I choose to receive.”
Let this be your new sacred prayer.
Feeling this? Bookmark this Scroll and share it with a woman who gives too much and asks for too little.
FAQ: The Myth of the Selfless Woman
Q1: What is the myth of the selfless woman?
A: It’s the belief that a woman must sacrifice her own needs to be considered loving, worthy, or good. It’s a social construct, not a spiritual truth.
Q2: Why do women feel guilty for resting or receiving?
A: Because we’ve been taught that self-worth is tied to productivity and service - especially for women. Rest and receiving disrupt that conditioning.
Q3: How can I start honouring my needs without guilt?
A: Start small. Acknowledge your needs out loud. Practice receiving without apology. Let it feel uncomfortable - and do it anyway.
Q4: Is wanting more ungrateful?
A: Not at all. Gratitude and desire can co-exist. Wanting more doesn’t make you greedy - it makes you human. The spiritual part of you knows we live in an abundant Universe.
What Comes Next
This was Scroll Three of the Goddess Awakening Scrolls: 35 Lies of the Patriarchy (and the Sacred Truths Women Are Reclaiming).
Scroll Four: The Lie of the Invisible Woman →
Let go of the lie. Honour your truth. You are already enough.